I saw this pic on some evil forums I like to visit :

And I was hoping his music would be awesome like the album art, but it’s not. It’s not bad either, at least not the awesomely bad kind of music I was hoping to hear. It’s just…meh.

I was hoping the album would sound like hillbilly rap music, with like shotgun noises and twangs and car horns and stuff going off with the music, maybe even animal noises and pigs squealing and stuff breaking, too. Like maybe a tractor starting up and then he begins to rap about milking the cows and then having to shoot one in the head because it went mad or something!

I imagined the title track went something like this (PS if you know that song “Big Bear” from near the end of SuperTroopers then you know how it is supposed to go):
__________

I’m Big Bear, I’m doin’ thangs
Big Bear, I’m doin’ thangs,
Big Bear, do-in’ thangs, Big Bear! (shotgun noise, 2x)

I’m Big Bear, I’m doin’ thangs
Big Bear, I’m doin’ thangs,
Big Bear, do-in’ thangs, Big Bear! (squealing hog noise, 2x)

I’m Big Bear, I’m doin’ thangs
Big Bear, I’m doin’ thangs,
Big Bear, do-in’ thangs, Big Bear! (Mack truck horn beep, 2x)

______________

I don’t really have any other lyrics for the song, I think it can go one for forever, with different noises at the end of each verse played two times in quick succession! The song could go on for an hour and be the best thing the world has ever heard in my opinion.

Anyway in case you are thinking Big Bear’s album is as awesome as that song sounds then you are mistaken, it is not quality-close at all; in fact the rela album is just kind of boring. I mean, BB doesn’t really even adopt the persona of a bear which would also make it fukken sweet (gangsta rap about eating honey and puttin’ the smack down on dem damn bees, fuck the animal control, garbage eatin’ bitchez, etc).

In conclusion I wish I had musical talent so I could make the songs myself! I don’t, I was in an awful band in High School and let’s just say that the music (Yar’s Revenge song was the best one) was pretty terrible. The current Big Bear, while lame, is a better musician than I could ever dream of being.

Sincerely,
Big Bear,
(doin’ thangs)